Memorial Day is a day of great significance to so many in our communities – to active duty military members, veterans and military families across the country and to all those who have been touched by our nation’s service members and benefited from the freedoms they defend. We pay tribute to the meaning of this important day of remembrance with this special edition of our “Service Series” by Ryan Manion, President of the Travis Manion Foundation, whose brother made the ultimate sacrifice now eleven years ago. We are honored to have Ryan contribute today’s piece featuring her insights on the meaning of Memorial Day and how she has shared her brother’s legacy of service to inspire thousands across America.
For more than two decades, I celebrated Memorial Day as most Americans do: with backyard barbecues and beach weekends, laughs with family and friends, and the obligatory — but respectful — moment of remembrance for our country’s fallen and those they left behind. To myself, I would quietly acknowledge those families with sincere empathy, admiring their strength from afar and knowing that I would never heal from a wound as deep as losing a loved one to war. My best friend and brother was an officer in the Marine Corps and, much as I tried not to, he was all I would think about when Memorial Day came around.
And then, eleven years ago, my worst fears were realized. I became that family member I used to sympathize with. On April 29th, 2007, my family received a knock on our front door that would usher in a whole new chapter in our lives. Memorial Day would no longer be a holiday we celebrated in May. Now, Memorial Day was every day.
Losing my brother Travis eleven years ago was a punch to the gut unlike anything I could possibly describe here, so I won’t try to. Losing his best friend and roommate, LT Brendan Looney (USN), 3 years later seemed downright unjust and shook us to our very foundation. Our family constantly questioned why these two young men — the greatest teammates, friends and sons anyone could hope for — would be deprived of fulfilling the great destinies they inevitably had in front of them. Weren’t they meant for something more?
As I reflect on Memorial Day — eleven years out from the pain and heartbreak, but in many ways just as close to it—I have an answer to that question.
Yes. Travis, Brendan, and all of our fallen heroes were meant for something more.
They were meant to serve as an inspiration to us all. To become models of character and legacies of leadership that inspire us as a nation and challenge us to be the best versions of ourselves. They were the best that their generation had to offer and they are an ever-present measuring stick for what I strive to be: generous, kind, courageous and perseverant.
In the eleven years since I lost my brother, I’ve been welcomed into a community of fellow families of the fallen, and the veterans and active duty personnel who continue to stand for what is right and good in our country. It’s a community I never thought I wanted to be a part of, and yet, it is what has made my path to healing and resilience possible. I’ve learned quite a bit in that time.
First, I’ve learned that the families I used to sympathize with, do not want my sympathy. They just want their loved ones to be remembered, for their legacies to continue in the next generation. And perhaps just as importantly, I’ve learned that our returning veterans are not done serving. They have sacrificed a great deal, but they are hungry to continue their service, to honor their fallen battle buddies and to begin their civilian lives with the same purpose and meaning that marked their military careers. Our military community wants to be remembered, and Memorial Day is a great time to do that. But more than anything, they want to be empowered.
That’s why, following my brother’s death in 2007, my family began the Travis Manion Foundation (TMF) to do just that. We are a community of passionate people — military and civilian alike — uniting communities to strengthen America’s national character. We are committed to honoring the sacrifices of our fallen heroes and keeping their legacies alive, by instilling their character in future generations. From Operation Legacy, a nationwide initiative to complete community service in honor of fallen heroes, to Character Does Matter, a youth program for veterans and families of the fallen to mentor young adults, we are in your community every day. We’re working for a better, stronger and more unified America for the next generation.
As a national non-profit, our work is fueled both by the passion of our volunteers and the generosity of our donors. This Memorial Day, in fact, marks the one-year anniversary of one of the largest donations our foundation has ever received. Coming off the success of his wildly popular app, Churchill Solitaire, Secretary Rumsfeld generously committed his profits from the game to TMF, in order to advance the legacies of our nation’s fallen heroes. We were honored to deliver on that mission and we are excited for the work we will continue to do together to unite and strengthen our nation. Because, as I now know, this is the destiny that Travis, Brendan and all our nation’s fallen heroes were meant for.
Before my brother left for what would ultimately become his final deployment, he spoke 5 words that have stayed with me ever since. He was questioned why he had to return for a second deployment; why, after all he’d given already, someone else couldn’t take his place.
He simply responded, “If Not Me, Then Who…”
This simple and profound response was the last and greatest gift Travis left to me and my family. It has become the ethos of the foundation we began in his honor, and an entire way of life for the 100,000 members of our community. If we truly want to honor our fallen heroes on Memorial Day — and every day — this is the motto we must live by. It captures the generosity of spirit and the bias for action that our military community knows too well.
26 years with my brother Travis wasn’t, and never will be enough. But to know that his legacy lives on in others, and that he joins so many fallen heroes whose character will inspire generations to come — that’s a consolation I am honored to accept.
Ryan Manion is President of the Travis Manion Foundation (TMF) and leads the organization in its mission to empower veterans and families of fallen heroes to develop character in future generations. Read her full bio here.
The Rumsfeld Foundation has partnered with the Travis Manion Foundation since 2010 and has been a longtime supporter of their Character Does Matter Program. Most recently, in 2017, the Foundation was pleased to donate a special $500,000 grant to the Travis Manion Foundation including Don Rumsfeld’s profits from his app, Churchill Solitaire. For more information on TMF visit www.travismanion.org.